I have lost several friends in the past several years, all of whom just died abruptly, and without any warning. As in all such cases, funerals are hastily prepared, and people called in to witness the passing, and the burial. There is this sickening day or two, while everyone adjusts to this new absence, this new loss, and this gratingly heavy finality...
During the funeral, a pastor or a family member will rise to try and say something profound about the passing of the loved one.
But, what if there was a video left by the deceased, prepared against such a day, as this? And what if the thrust of funerals was changed, entirely, to a different format?
What if the quick disposal of a body was done, without a viewing and without all of the makeup and the mortician's morbid artistry? Then, a quick burial, attended by the family, and a few close friends... And then, a couple of weeks later, a memorial service, where the videotape prepared by the deceased would be shown to everyone who had finally found time to schedule this into their lives?
The deceased would appear on the screen, sort of like Christ by the tomb, and explain what he or she thought of death, and dying, and what were his or her views of this newfound experience, which he or she knew was coming upon that person's family... that day... what the subject thought it might be like... and what he or she wanted each of them to remember about them... Like a will, it would be sealed and held until the day of this memorial service.
It might be of a great comfort, to know what this person thought might would comfort the bereft, at that moment, and how nice it would be to hear such a message... if we would only get by our immediate morbidity of making such a video, and actually make the thing...
I personally find the whole funeral experience to be, well, funereal... not comforting in the least...
I think it would be great, for the deceased could select the music, if any, and say what he or she really thought, knowing that, like a will, this would only come out after the passing of the subject in the film.
They could speak to us from beyond the grave, with a dead state of mind, and not from a living, home movie sort of mood.
They could comfort us, as a ghost would like to, but cannot, without terrifying the ones to whom comfort is directed...
And they could see it over and over again, every time a memory of that person would be desired...
I like the idea of a Videotaped Auto-Eulogy.
It could be posted on Youtube, for all to see... and linked to a memorial page on Facebook...
It could be a really great idea...
If I was going to leave a eulogy on video, I would try and say something to comfort the people who had come to the service to see the video, I think. Thank them for coming... assure them that, where ever I was, I was fine. For I truly believe that. I think that death is a place much like where we came from, before we were born. I don't remember it, so it must not have been a bad thing, or a bad place... The concepts of heaven and hell, of God, and redemption, notwithstanding. The religious communities speak of a paradise, or of a limbo, or a holding area... A good place for the just and a bad place for the wicked, of separation from God, or a torment, or a "burning" desire to be with the God who was rejected for carnal evil, upon the earth... A "burning" in hell, or a hole in the ground, so to speak, where the created cannot be with the rejected creator...
Death is a very desirable state for the extremely elderly, the terminally ill, the suicidally unbalanced, and the grievously wounded, and injured... if people in their lowest and weakest moments seek it, it must not be an unpleasant state, at all. There must be some remembered past that they recall, at that moment they reject life, and seek to be rid of it, permanently. And, at any rate, each of us has an appointment with the Grim Reaper, at some point down this long and winding road... when we are healthy, we fight him off... when we are debililitated, we beg him to hurry up...
I accepted Christ, and was a Christian, albeit not a fundamentalist one... That should ease everyone's mind on that end.
I have a photograph of a real, actual ghost. She does not look like she is in any pain... She still hangs out at Avenel House. I do not plan to come back here, again, unless it is to float down the beach... for there was the only place that I really, truly felt alive and connected. The sands of Daytona Beach, Florida...
I would make up a ten minute video, to comfort the bereft... because ask not for whom the bell tolls... IT TOLLS FOR THEE.
Funerals are for the living, and I always said, don't do me any favors! I get nothing out of them, at all! A memorial service, however, is another matter, entirely.
My musical selection would be HEAVEN CAN WAIT by Meatloaf, which is like the third or so highest selling album in history... It is a great song, it really is... about as sad as Pachebel's Canon in D Major (the Kodak song)... I would have a montage of photos of me, and things I liked, passing by in slo-motion sequence... and then, a fade to black... Let everyone out early, for a long lunch, and be done with it!
Other than that, I either plan on catching up with some very old friends, or else taking the longest, greatest nap in the history of sleep...
Either way, I won't be complaining about it, at all!
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